Monday, June 12, 2006

Father's day


It's father's day next Saturday (at least here in the UK) and there are posters up in all the shop windows.

My father died last week. The morning of the 3rd June. He was only 59. I'd already started looking for jumper patterns for his 60th in December.

It all happened quite quickly - a matter of weeks. He was ok at Easter, but at the start of May had lost a lot of his voice and couldn't swallow. He went to hospital and was told he had cancer of the oesophagus, liver and lungs and there was little anyone could do.

I've not been blogging about it because I keep this place for knitting. But I've decided knitting can't be de-tangled from the rest of life that easily. I knit for friends and relatives, I talk about it, type about it. Although the solitary aspects of knitting have been a real help over the last few weeks, in many ways it's an very social craft, knit-blogging especially. So I'm not going to keep this major event in my life hidden from here any longer.

Last year I made Dad a knitted Beethoven. A professional musician, he'd had this thing about Beethoven for years and for some reason (I could never work out why) he always dreamed of owning a bust of Beethoven. A knitted doll version seemed appropriate. I got a postcard a few weeks later from Prague, where Dad had gone to record some film music. It was from him and "Beethoven", who he'd taken with him.

This year his gift was to be part of the Bakerloo project I'm doing for Magknits. He got the diagnosis just after I'd emailed Kerrie about it. So I changed materials to a soft cashmere mix and knitted super-quick so he could have it as an early Father's Day present and wear them during his last few weeks. He showed them off to everyone who visited and I think Mum's going to keep them now.

He was a lovely man and my Dad. I miss him terribly.

25 comments:

Kelly said...

I am very sorry for your Loss Alice and my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.

It's strangely beautiful how knitting fits in with other parts of our lives and links us to those we dedicate our time and yarn to.

Gina said...

Oh my...I am so sorry for your loss. It is terrible to lose a parent no matter the time, but to have Father's Day lurking when the wounds are so fresh and raw... I wish you and your family many blessings and my deepest condolences.

Agnes said...

Really don't know what to say other than sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your mom. Be strong and take care.

Lori said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Please know we are all thinking about you. I think it is wonderful that you were able to share your knitting with your father. I'll bet he was very proud!

vardakeerutaja said...

i am really sorry Alice.
my father died 5 years ago, by accident. i think somehow it's better to know its coming. leaves you time to say goodby and your kniting was certainly nice way to do that

lisa said...

I am so sorry, Alice. Big hug from across the pond.

alltangledup said...

I'm so sorry for your lost. It's terrible especially with a special birthday and father's day coming up. It just doesn't seem fair

Dixie said...

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

Lara said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It is horrible to lose someone who you will miss so very much. I think knitting is a very good way to get through dark times. My grandpa died today and I spent most of the weekend knitting by his bedside. It was just chance that I decided to check your blog today and I thought your post was really lovely. I think it is hard sometimes to de-tangle things too.
And by the way, I love the Beethoven figure.

Leigh said...

Oh Alice! I'm so sorry you've lost such a special person. Take care.

itslikearuin said...

I am sorry for your loss. We lost a close family friend last week to cancer. Do take care.

Chantal said...

{{{{{{{{Alice}}}}}}}
No words can express the sorrow of losing your dad but I'm glad you had some time with him. My condolences to you and your family.

purl pirate said...

Oh Alice, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man, thank you for sharing some of your memories with us.

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry, Alice. He must have been so happy, knowing he was wrapped up in your love in the last few weeks.

Pig wot flies said...

I'm so sorry Alice. Hugest sympathies and big hugs.

Philippa said...

Dear Alice, I am so terribly, terribly sorry. Your father sounds like a wonderful man, and a loss to this world as well as to your family. May you go in peace and blessings. My thoughts are with you and yours at this very difficult time.

Specs said...

I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said -- but we're all thinking of you.

I hope things go as well as they can from here on out. We all knit for exactly the reason -- so that the people we love will know they're loved. And your father definitely knew.

E. said...

Here's my Father's Day gift to you in memory of your Father.

I feature Star Search finalist Tatiana McConnico.
http://www.TheLittleGirlSong.com

All the best,

E.
http://ewaltersmith.blogspot.com

victoria said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and what you've been going through. Words are simply not enough. Be well.

Kathy said...

I am so very sorry for you. You will be in my prayers. Honoring our fathers who have gone on, brings comfort. wishing you good sleep and peace

carolyn said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how hard the last few weeks must have been for you and your family

Elizabeth said...

Alice - I just read your entry on your dad. I'm so sorry. Your post made me get all weepy, especially the part about him taking Beethoven abroad. I admire how you've gone on to happier things in your latest post. My husband's dad died at 53, quite suddenly - so I've seen a little bit of what you are going through. Take care.

purrl said...

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Deepest condolences to you and your family.

Susan said...

ALice, I have only just caught up on my blog reading and just now read about your dad. I am so very sad to hear about his illness and death. It's wonderful that you were able to comfort him and yourself with a knitting project. Thank you for sharing your life, knitting and more, through your blog.

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